I've moved...

I've moved beyond the fitful starts and into launching my dream.
It all picks up at Nyssa, Ink.  
Please visit when you can!

Simple vintage goodness.

Islay Grimes Cast Stone Sculpture 

Simplicity is beautiful. 

Find him here.

a work in progress

Not too shabby for my first embroidery, if I do say so myself. This blankie, made from vintage, recycled and new fabrics, is for a sweet little baby girl who may not be quite so little by the time I finish... but I do love how it is coming along.  Her name was first handwritten in pencil on the vintage fabric (this piece will actually be applied to the back side of the blankie) and then I just winged it from there... because that's how I roll when it comes to matters of creativity. I couldn't be bothered at the time to open my embroidery book and learn a correct stitch. The four leaf clover is a nod to her mom's Irish roots.

It would be great to have the blankie finished in time for St. Patrick's Day but I fear that is too lofty a goal under my current set of circumstances... getting these photographs finally taken was a feat in itself, but no matter, because Fiona will never remember that I was the one who sent the late baby gift. Babies are great that way.

consistently inconsistent

Original art by Richard H. Dawson. All rights reserved. 

Know thyself, right? That's why this blog is called Fitful Starts. I do know myself. I've done some work in that department and I consider it a lifelong labor of love.

Year in and year out, one thread running through my life is that I have always been consistently inconsistent. Not in every way (uh, thank goodness). Character and values? I am solid as a rock, rarely wavering. In other areas of my life, well, let's just say, look for me where the wind blows. When it comes to my daily habits and personal creative passions, I often just follow my mood or inspiration, or equally as often, what ends up being my lack of inspiration. I've always just laughed it off as a Gemini thing: part of me wants to do one thing, another part of me wants to do something different... but then (and here's the rub) eventually I find I've done neither. But forget resolutions... they are more likely to be disappointments made in advance (especially for a Gemini).

I truly savor the pensive nature of this time of year. It's a season in itself, this changing of the calendar, and it's one of my very favorite seasons. It strikes me as a time of steeping or brewing. It's not lost on me that the purpose of steeping or brewing is to make stronger, richer, more flavorful.

As I reflect on the past, present and future, what I most want to focus on this year is being more consistently consistent -- in pursuit of what makes me feel happy and alive: creating, blogging, thrifting and treasure hunting, reading and writing, being outdoors and time spent with family and friends. In short, I am striving towards more time spent connecting-- with myself, nature and others.

Now that doesn't sound like a horrible assignment for the new year, does it?

my fair city

from a sunday stroll along the river walk... 

earnest

fisher bros 

weathered and wonderful 

left behind by man, transformed into art by nature

little me

"Very early, I knew that the only object in life was to grow." 

quote by Margaret Fuller 

school photo circa 1977 or 1978? 

This is one of my favorite pictures of myself. I mean, come on, right? Look at the homemade 70's blouse and romper. It appears that I am now a classic. Vintage. I was there. I wore it. I am that old. Incredibly, I actually lived in The Goonies house when that picture was taken. Pre-Goonies, of course. Before Mount St. Helens blew. When people still had 8-tracks in their rigs.

That little girl loved Tanya Tucker, her cat Buttercup, Barbies, Tiger Beat, S&H Green Stamps, dolphins, salamanders. found treasures and old things. and oh, what was his name?  The teen heart throb of the moment. I had a poster on my wall. Darn. Well, that happens. It'll come to me....

.... and I also remember that same little girl did a mean Mae West imitation. And she wanted to play the guitar, maybe even be a rock star. But definitely she wanted to be a designer.

Am I really so different today? Changing little details, I am her. And she is me. So, my "older tribe" status is still hard for me to entirely grasp because what "they" say is often true: mostly, you just don't feel any older on the inside than you did 10, even 20 years ago. Lately I've been thinking back over my life and asking myself (especially after conversations with much younger women) what would I tell my 15 year old self? Or my 7 year old self?

In my collection of quotes I found this and above all, 

this is what I would want this little girl to know: 

"Once you accept the fact that you are not perfect, 

then you develop some confidence." 

quoting Rosalyn Carter 

And I would also have to tell her that she's beautiful. 

And someday she'll think that outfit is really cool. 

It may take upwards of 30 years. But it will happen. 

And I would tell her that life isn't perfect either. 

But it is full of perfect moments. 

What would you tell "little you"? 

books... by their cover

I see out there in the blogosphere that it's "book week"... makes sense to me: autumn, nesting, cozying up to a good book and a fire in the wood stove. And I have been doing my share of nesting. But I have to tell you the truth, I haven't been reading any books lately. Reading on the computer, yes, reading magazines, yes. But I've been collecting books, from thrift stores, garage sales and friends, for a long, long time. They are treasured possessions.

And I am definitely known to buy a book solely for it's cover.

So, here's a few of the books that I have not been reading....

circa 1948

circa 1939

circa 1938, signed 1st edition 

circa 1956

circa 1949

Aren't they wonderful?

buntings, bibs and bears

And on a lighter, sweeter note today... 

Some of my summer days were spent sewing. Yes, I made friends with the machine again. I somehow found myself in a two week fit of producing buntings and bibs. Baby showers can inspire such frivolity.

reversible baby boy bibs

I found the (easy breezy!) pattern for the bibs here at Prudent Baby. 

And a nice little summer shot of the buntings, bibs and this charming bear displayed on my wood stove. The bear, or model's name, if you will, is Ashley. Please note that she has a friend, the kitty. A treasured gift, I've had Ashley & friend for years, like almost 20 (omg). Ashley & friend were made by artist Mary Holstad who, I found out, compliments of Google, still produces today. What I remember loving about this series of bears is that I was told that each bear has it's own kitty because the artist moved a lot as a child and was never able to have her own kitty... as an only child, who also moved a lot, that touched me.

bibs, buntings and bears

The buntings (and some outdoor lights) also added a festive touch at our camp site. Next time I'll bring at least triple. I spent a lot of time just coloring with crayons. Sigh...

Lots of great memories were made here, a homey outdoor getaway established in 1936 by a woman serving food to fishermen and hunters and apparently developed by FDR as part of the New Deal. He even stayed there himself, as legend goes. Cabin #1. I asked at the general store about pictures from the 30's, 40's and 50's... but no such luck. One waitress has been there 29 years and "knows a lot" but we were visiting in late September and the restaurant had closed for the season. I imagine the photos I would be looking for are only to be found in the albums of families who have enjoyed the retreat for the last 3 generations.

Oh, and did I mention we had no cell service in the area at all?
How dreamy.

And wow, the pelicans and cranes,
owls screeching at night,
... and farther in the background, the coyotes.

It's an amazing place. I recommend clicking that link above if your curiosity hasn't gotten to you yet.

Our dogs learned to swim.
And despite great efforts, they didn't catch a single chipmunk.

Fish were caught, and all let go, except for the one, who was filleted, cooked in foil over the camp fire with butter and onions and devoured.

A Yahtzee Champ prevailed. A trophy was given.

Thoughtful talks about life, love, loss and laughter around the campfire were savored.

The lake was fished, swimmed in, floated on and hiked around.

3 camp photos courtesy the hubster. 

Master smores skills were developed- yes, I said Master level smores skills, we challenge anyone to an official smore-off!

A great time was had by all and the happy memories will live on....

art and life, then and now

"Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads." 

quote by Erica Jong 

Original art by Richard H. Dawson. All rights reserved. 

What do you think of when you see this image? 

At this stage of my life (thankfully) I no longer believe that talent is necessitated by suffering... it is indeed possible to be wildly creative and, yes, happy. I once believed otherwise.... but I now know that suffering is the human condition; in no way reserved for just artists and misfits.

For me, there is a release in this, a freedom-- no need to fear the dark places our talent may lead us. We are headed there anyway... willingly or otherwise, such is life.

So, I will laugh. I will create. I will mourn. And I will be happy.

But, like authentic blues singers, the ones who have seen the darkest shades of blue can sing it like no other. The piece above, done by my father, reminds me of the dark places his talent led him, symbolizing for me, a chaos of the mind. Dark? Yes. And beautiful, still.

"Each day comes bearing it's gifts. Untie the ribbon."
 quoting Ruth Ann Schabacker

on hitting the road...

"the road was new to me, as roads always are, going back"      

 ... quoting Sarah Orne Jewett 

Original art by Richard H. Dawson. All rights reserved. 

on collecting...

I have several "collections"...

Small pitchers or creamers (I would share a photo but they currently reside in a cupboard- in our last, roomier home they had their own proper - albeit dusty- shelf).

Vintage ceramic and glassware, resting comfortably in a beautiful french hutch (and would make another lovely blog picture, I am sure).

Art, piles and stacks of art (to fill way more than my own home).

Vintage linens (in a heap, waiting to be laundered).

Barbies. Yes, lots of Barbies (sadly, stacked neatly in a closet). It's the little girl in me and Barbies always make me smile.

But one of my very favorite collections (all fitting nicely in one little shoebox) is the pile of hundreds of quotes that have moved or inspired (or even just made me laugh) that I've collected over the last 25 years... this collection is one that actually makes a real, measurable difference in my life. I call on those quotes-- to just get me through life on some days, and, on other days, to help me make the most of life. These quotes, becoming my own personalized book of inspiration, remind me of the beautiful and amazing fact that I have the ability to control my mind and focus my thoughts in the direction of my own choosing.

Original art by Richard H. Dawson. All rights reserved.

.... quoting Geothe--- "Nothing is worth more than this day". 

and according to Ralph Waldo Emerson--- 

"Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind". 

Simple as that. 

as we remember him...

Richard Holmes Dawson 

September 12, 1948 - September 12, 2001 

Life is complicated and brief. Love is simple and eternal. 

his legacy, my honor...

When someone you love so enormously leaves you suddenly and unexpectedly, it is a complete shock to the system. No time for those last goodbyes, to say the things you would have wanted to say, to ask the questions you wanted to ask.... and for me, the result was that everything he left behind became incredibly precious to me.

But beauty is in the eye of the beholder- as they say, and as such, I've never felt as though I was able to see his art with an objective eye. To me it is amazing, powerful and beautiful. After all, it is my father's legacy. And now, today, experiencing others experiencing his art is so powerful and truly just blows me away...

Original art by Richard H. Dawson. All rights reserved. 

I imagine this little painting is based upon his travels in France, Italy and Switzerland... it reminds me of a painting called "vision of Toledo" that he sent me for my 30th birthday, just a couple of years before he died. I am grateful and honored to be the caretaker of his legacy... and I take great refuge and solace in the images he left behind.

A thank you card to Blogger

Before my father unexpectedly passed away, almost nine years ago, he mentioned to someone that he imagined his art would end up in a dumpster after he was gone. His life's work. His life's passion. As his only child, I could never let that happen. With the help of his dear friends in North Carolina, we were able to ship the lion's share of his work out to me in Oregon. It was many, many boxes and took months to complete. 

I have often wondered how I will share his work and honor his memory.... but wonder no more. 

Thank you, Blogger. 

Original art by Richard H. Dawson. All rights reserved. 

Self-taught and shy of his talents, his art was presented mostly as gifts to friends and family. Over time, I will continue to post his works and honor his memory here with that hope that someone may be moved by what he left behind.... 

labor day laborer

As a general rule, I try to avoid any labor on Labor Day. 

But today, duty calls.... so hi-ho, hi-ho, off to work I go.

Original art by Richard H. Dawson. All rights reserved. 

little boy blue

Original art by Richard H. Dawson, all rights reserved. 

I'll admit it, some days I can really relate to this little boy.

But that's part of the beauty of life... without suffering, how would we measure joy?

In the moments when I feel lost, unsure or scared, as I reach for solace, I always find joy.

Star of the Sea Rummage Sale

Yes, people are still talking about the

Star of the Sea Rummage Sale!

The annual event, held in the catholic school gym, just concluded with "free day" last Friday and I went no less than 5 times in 4 days. I must begin by saying that the volunteer ladies who run the sale are vintage classics themselves. Completely adorable. Above is just a small portion of my finds.... my favorites: the Peterboro picnic basket, two absolutely perfect vintage rattan lamp shades, silver iced tea spoons (this score triples my tiny collection!), loads of vintage sheets and linens, two super fab homemade vintage housewife dresses, vintage patterns, a vintage ice bucket and soooo much more.

I probably spent, all told, $25 in my 4 day rummage spree. But even better than the deals, it just got me jazzed. Downright giddy. I actually left the house early before work (unheard of) to get in line on the first $2 bag day! This will be an official annual event in my life and is just a delicious slice of small town goodness.

That lil' bit of treasure-seeking adrenaline created a small creative storm of which we shall see the fruits of soon... because this beautiful machine below and I have once again, made friends after a somewhat lengthy fall-out.

fits & starts... so true in so many areas of my life and happily I'm in the midst of a sewing fit!

a sweet holiday weekend

The long weekend was as sweet

as this Oregon strawberry...

strawberry muffins and skillet jam were made

long walks with the husband and dogs were enjoyed

fireworks over the river were witnessed...

and a new annual tradition was born:

St. Mary's Star of the Sea Rummage Sale, oh my....

But more to come on that.

her inspiration

Original art by Richard H. Dawson. All rights reserved. 

This image is the complete view of my current profile picture, a mixed media done by my father, Richard H. Dawson (1948-2001), titled "her inspiration", one of literally hundreds of works of art that came to be mine upon his passing. I adore this painting and in sadder times, her image has brought me much comfort. The simplicity, use of color, graphic boldness, the sadness in her eyes and background text all draw me in...

One great thing about being 41 now is that I have those fantastic 70's shots in my collection... and this is one of only 2 photographs I have of my father and I while I was a child. The only other photo I have with my father was taken when I was 12 or 13. The photo shown here was taken in Eugene, Oregon, likely in about '72 or '73. The home, on 13th street, near the University of Oregon campus has long since been torn down. As my only memory of a childhood visit with my father, what always sticks out in my mind is that he seemed SO tall to me, and as basically a stranger to him, I was indeed both excited to spend some time with him but also a bit scared. So, imagine then how that little girl felt when she walked into the house and the original version of Frankenstein was playing on TV! And throw in the fact that he had Great Dane at the time!! See, that's the thing about my dad though: he always made a big impression on all who came in contact with him and it certainly was no different for me. As a pre-teen I began the slow process of getting to know him and over the years we became very close. He always told me, as a young woman, that I was "his greatest masterpiece" yet he was also always careful to never take credit for how I turned out, acknowledging he hadn't been the father I needed. We loved each other very much and losing him is still, nine years later, a shock to my system.

On a lighter note... this blog was inspired in part by an apple a day, one of my very favorite blogs. The day I found her blog a good couple hours suddenly disappeared while reading her archives and I always eagerly anticipate her future posts. For one, she loves old things at least as much as I do. She shares about her family, their country home, treasure hunting, her creative work. There is a simple, sensitive and somehow raw sensibility to her photography and writing style...

before & after

From average run-of-the-mill framed corkboard to beautiful, stylish,

one-of-a-kind custom idea board!

The picture doesn't do it much justice however.

I needed a start-to-finish afternoon project to get lost in for awhile... but I wanted the sense of accomplishment that comes from fully completing a project in a short spell. I didn't need a mess on my hands for days on end, right? So, after hmmming and hawing for the last few weeks about how to treat this corkboard I just decided to act.

I painted the frame a white wash (using acryclic paint from my art supplies) and used samples from a wallpaper book that I patchworked to create sections and texture using photo mount. I was determined to keep it super simple and didn't even trim one piece of the scrap wallpaper. I just layered where I needed to.

I added the vintage ribbon frame along the inside of the wood frame and finished the corners with upholstery tacks. The teal blue ribbon detail is velvet, edged with a tiny white lace. The lace doily was a gift from a dear friend, pinned to the board with a sewing pin.

Oh, and I must include thanks to my studio assistant, Bailey.

I love creating something entirely new and wonderful using only what I have on hand. Free is a very good price. Now I just need to put some ideas on the board!