little me

"Very early, I knew that the only object in life was to grow." 

quote by Margaret Fuller 

school photo circa 1977 or 1978? 

This is one of my favorite pictures of myself. I mean, come on, right? Look at the homemade 70's blouse and romper. It appears that I am now a classic. Vintage. I was there. I wore it. I am that old. Incredibly, I actually lived in The Goonies house when that picture was taken. Pre-Goonies, of course. Before Mount St. Helens blew. When people still had 8-tracks in their rigs.

That little girl loved Tanya Tucker, her cat Buttercup, Barbies, Tiger Beat, S&H Green Stamps, dolphins, salamanders. found treasures and old things. and oh, what was his name?  The teen heart throb of the moment. I had a poster on my wall. Darn. Well, that happens. It'll come to me....

.... and I also remember that same little girl did a mean Mae West imitation. And she wanted to play the guitar, maybe even be a rock star. But definitely she wanted to be a designer.

Am I really so different today? Changing little details, I am her. And she is me. So, my "older tribe" status is still hard for me to entirely grasp because what "they" say is often true: mostly, you just don't feel any older on the inside than you did 10, even 20 years ago. Lately I've been thinking back over my life and asking myself (especially after conversations with much younger women) what would I tell my 15 year old self? Or my 7 year old self?

In my collection of quotes I found this and above all, 

this is what I would want this little girl to know: 

"Once you accept the fact that you are not perfect, 

then you develop some confidence." 

quoting Rosalyn Carter 

And I would also have to tell her that she's beautiful. 

And someday she'll think that outfit is really cool. 

It may take upwards of 30 years. But it will happen. 

And I would tell her that life isn't perfect either. 

But it is full of perfect moments. 

What would you tell "little you"? 

art and life, then and now

"Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads." 

quote by Erica Jong 

Original art by Richard H. Dawson. All rights reserved. 

What do you think of when you see this image? 

At this stage of my life (thankfully) I no longer believe that talent is necessitated by suffering... it is indeed possible to be wildly creative and, yes, happy. I once believed otherwise.... but I now know that suffering is the human condition; in no way reserved for just artists and misfits.

For me, there is a release in this, a freedom-- no need to fear the dark places our talent may lead us. We are headed there anyway... willingly or otherwise, such is life.

So, I will laugh. I will create. I will mourn. And I will be happy.

But, like authentic blues singers, the ones who have seen the darkest shades of blue can sing it like no other. The piece above, done by my father, reminds me of the dark places his talent led him, symbolizing for me, a chaos of the mind. Dark? Yes. And beautiful, still.

"Each day comes bearing it's gifts. Untie the ribbon."
 quoting Ruth Ann Schabacker

on hitting the road...

"the road was new to me, as roads always are, going back"      

 ... quoting Sarah Orne Jewett 

Original art by Richard H. Dawson. All rights reserved. 

on collecting...

I have several "collections"...

Small pitchers or creamers (I would share a photo but they currently reside in a cupboard- in our last, roomier home they had their own proper - albeit dusty- shelf).

Vintage ceramic and glassware, resting comfortably in a beautiful french hutch (and would make another lovely blog picture, I am sure).

Art, piles and stacks of art (to fill way more than my own home).

Vintage linens (in a heap, waiting to be laundered).

Barbies. Yes, lots of Barbies (sadly, stacked neatly in a closet). It's the little girl in me and Barbies always make me smile.

But one of my very favorite collections (all fitting nicely in one little shoebox) is the pile of hundreds of quotes that have moved or inspired (or even just made me laugh) that I've collected over the last 25 years... this collection is one that actually makes a real, measurable difference in my life. I call on those quotes-- to just get me through life on some days, and, on other days, to help me make the most of life. These quotes, becoming my own personalized book of inspiration, remind me of the beautiful and amazing fact that I have the ability to control my mind and focus my thoughts in the direction of my own choosing.

Original art by Richard H. Dawson. All rights reserved.

.... quoting Geothe--- "Nothing is worth more than this day". 

and according to Ralph Waldo Emerson--- 

"Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind". 

Simple as that.